What is Polyamory?

On a long night like tonight, where I haven't blogged in a while and don't feel like sleeping, I take on tasks such as this. Today, I will attempt to explain what Polyamory is, what it feels like, and most of all, what it means to me... The closed minded need not apply.

 At it's heart, polyamory, isn't about sex, and it isn't an excuse to be a slut. It's not a quick fix to a cheater in the relationship, and it's most certainly not an excuse to be with someone while still having a backup plan for some "maybe laters" if the relationship doesn't work out. To me, polyamory brings back warm memories of a romance so pure and innocent, but passionate and loving that it worked. It was about loving each other, and it was about being together and supporting each other, making each other feel good, and tag teaming the other when they felt shitty. It meant that we all loved each other, and couldn't see a relationship without the others, that we really needed each other. Maybe it was a little codependent, but to this day, it was the best relationship that I ever had, even if it did end badly.


Polyamory is not about sex, at least not purely. Polyamory is about loving each other equally, and being in love with each other in such a way that you couldn't really see a relationship with one without the other-- like peanut butter and jelly.


Polyamory is not about being kinky. Now don't get me wrong, it can be kinky as hell, when the time is right, but it should never be purely about "being kinky." If you are only in for it for the sex, that's not polyamory, that's a threesome.


Polyamory is not a "quick fix" to relationship cheating issues. If someone is cheating on you, you should probably leave them. They're not invested in the relationship anymore. If you both happen to be in love with an additional person, that's more like polyamory. Don't go trying to make yourself fall in love with someone else in order to make a relationship last a little longer.


I personally have no idea what's so wrong about having more than one wife or husband, as long as they're all okay with the situation. No brainwashers please.


I doubt that this makes sense anymore, and I highly doubt that anyone is going to be reading this anytime soon anyways. I think I'll end it here.  ...Read more...

It's all love...

So why do people judge so much?

Disclaimer: As this was written over the course of quite a few days, I cannot guarantee that it will flow as well as it could, though I did my best to make sure that it least made sense! >.<;;

Today as I watched the news, and saw the lines and lines of people going to get married in New York because of their legalization of gay marriage, I wondered why people make judgements about people who are just in love. I dream of the day that everyone can get married; gay, straight, bisexual, polyamorous... it wouldn't matter, because we'd realize as a population that all that matters in a relationship between people is love.

It's not right to deny people their right to be recognized by their government as together just because the government seems to rule by standards set by the Bible, regardless of what they say about religion and state being completely separate.

Though, government aside, I don't understand why most people aren't tolerant of other peoples' sexualities and beliefs. It's not hurting you, and it's certainly none of your business what they do in their bedrooms. If it's love, it's love-- not depravity, and not anything unholy. Regular relationships can be more depraved than those of homosexuals or that of polyamorous couples.

And as I write, I realize that really, I want that to be the next legalization that happens, after everyone accepts homosexual marriages. Poly relationships are really not any different than other "regular" relationships when it comes down to it-- love, support, and the willingness to be there for each other through thick and thin. And there are those that would call it impure, even though, really, a relationship is a relationship.

I was lucky enough to go to a very  liberal high school, where for the most part no one really cared what or who you did, as long as it wasn't hurting anyone-- and for that I'm grateful. It is really tragic when I hear reports on the news of people being persecuted because of their sexuality, and even worse when I hear reports where the person in question has taken their own life. Any loss of life is a tragedy, and for something so preventable-- so very able to be stopped if everyone minded their own business, or even better, were tolerant of all other practices and beliefs.

So think a little, be more tolerant, and maybe everyone can be a hero through prevention. ...Read more...